Cambodia

•May 6, 2014 • Leave a Comment

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After this post I will be writing through my blog, theunknownadventurer.wordpress.com Go there to keep up with me through the summer!

It is about a week and a half till I leave for Cambodia for 70 days. It seems so far away.. it’s kind of ironic.

I am an Intercultural Studies major at Lee University and for my internship I will be spending 2 and a half months working with the People for Care and Learning. I cannot express the amount of excitement and anxiety that is happening. I’m currently finishing up ministry prep and making 50 packing lists, but I can’t fit it in my head that I will actually be doing this and that it is a big deal.

PCL is a NGO that is helping rebuild the country after three generations of genocide, providing an English Language Center, coffee shop, farms, homes and much more. Their impact reaches far and wide working holistically with the Cambodians. I can’t wait to meet these beautiful people and their country. I have always loved Asia and this adventure of service and sacrifice is one I am ready for, though not without a fight.

This semester was a doozy with 18 credit hours…I have made it out with all As and Bs, praise the Lord! The Lord has changed my heart, set me free, and dealt with my attitude, but has never left me. He only strengthened our bond, even after my minds confusion. That’s the funny thing about God..you think your so far away and He’s constantly there. It can even become what you don’t want, but He is. My spiritual journey this semester has been one for the books, taking me from devoted to busy to discouraged to freedom to torment to rebellion to defeat to acceptance. But one thing I know is that no matter how I felt, God’s will was always done and I made sure that I was in it. I love Him too much for anything else. Fighting against our flesh is a lifelong battle, that I plan on encountering while in Cambodia as much as I did in America. I take these feelings and use them to my advantage for when they return. I am victorious through Christ.

I don’t know what to expect, except maybe some major flexibility growth. I will be teaching English for the first time and I am definitely interested in how that will work out. But I’m more interested in how my farming abilities will turn out! I can’t wait to set my mind to accomplishing all of the new tasks assigned to me and getting to know all of the new people! The monks and the villagers in the city and the tourists. So many things to cram into my brain….but I won’t let a single thing be missed! Image

So, this post is just an update, a clue as to what I am getting ready to embark on, a peak into my thoughts. Don’t expect a post everyday or even every week, but expect an revelation of what God is doing in Cambodia through my eyes. I am too excited to put into words my hope of the healings and miracles that I will see and the power of God being impacted on this country!! Pray with me as I begin a life-changing journey into the unknown.

Sincerely, The Curious Adventurer,

Brittany

Date A Girl Who Dances

•May 1, 2014 • Leave a Comment

18 Struggles Only Over-Thinkers Will Understand

•March 8, 2014 • Leave a Comment

So me,

7 February 2014

•February 8, 2014 • Leave a Comment

What a crazy and incredible God I serve. He is magnificent and passionate. He is the clarity when life has blinded our sight to His goodness. I can’t believe His timing, once again He astounds me. This weekend me going home was a hotmess and up in the air. I get a phone call from my mom saying the Perry Stone was going to be doing a conference, and decided even though I would miss my doctor’s appointment I would go home this weekend. I text a friend of mine in Master’s Commission and she needs help choreographing for a conference they have coming up. I (almost) never say no to an opportunity to dance, so I get there and she prayed Thursday night that I would be able to come home for a weekend before it was finished!! Is God an on time God or what? I knew that something was supposed to happen with all the chaos that was involved when figuring out times to leave. 

I love that I was able to develop a relationship with the kids in Master’s!! It has opened so many doors to my life, including confidence. My comfort zone has been pulled and molded while in their hands. The beauty of seeing their growth every time I come home. 

I can’t help but thank God when I see the friends and influences He has put me around. Even the people that test my patience, for they are the ones keeping me humble and focused on God. I may give in to peer pressure too easily, doubt my abilities, and talk too much without listening, but I’m human. We all have those constant sins and stumbling blocks that hinder us from being whole. We mustn’t let those bring us down because Jesus’ blood can cover every sin. Every sin. You don’t have to believe the lie that you aren’t good enough.

We have to stop looking to this world for our love. It is in God’s hand. He is the one to “like” our Facebook status to let us know we’re special. Tonight I experienced God through dance. How I’ve missed dance. The one thing that flows out seamlessly from my body: no words to confuse, no thoughts to scramble. Just me and Holy Spirit translating the heart of God so that other can know His presence. I feel God when I dance. I know He’s with me. It’s my constant connection to Him. Without my expression of music I wouldn’t be Brittany Anton. She isn’t calm, cool, and collected, but she’s top notch in her Heavenly Father’s eyes. 

Everything in me that is Good is from the Father. 

The Daniel Fast (Day 21)

•February 3, 2014 • Leave a Comment

Day Twenty- one: God’s Eternal Table.

As the final day closes, I see that how blessed I was to start this with the beginning of school. I established good work ethic and determination to achieve my goals. I deleted Facebook and Pinterest from my phone and am staying strong! The food department is another story… but the thing I’ve learned from this fast… I can be diligent. I’m proud of myself for the first time in a long time. My school work is something that matters to me but I had lost my motivation.

This semester is just about to kick into gear and I believe I’m ready,  especially with Jesus!! Never give up! It’s worth seeing the end results:)

Thank you to everyone who kept up with me, I deemed you as my accountability partners so that I’d finish strong. There were mistakes and missed blogging, but I feel good and ready to pull closer to Jesus. I will keep writing as I prepare for my internship in Cambodia, keep an eye out for new installments of my Internet dialogue.

The Daniel Fast (Day 20)

•February 2, 2014 • Leave a Comment

Day Twenty: God’s Beneficial Table.

The more I realize tomorrow is the last day of my fast, the more I want to keep it up. At least not using social media and Netflix. I actually get homework done and am proud of myself. But, I’m ready for meat. I need a sandwich.

Today was haphazard and random, but only for the last half and not really even then. I just got to hang out with friends for a while. Last year I was a part of a dance troupe that just put on a performance this weekend. I enjoyed it, and God used her closing monologue to touch me, The enemy had currently tried to get a foothold in my life, and even once it is prayed off your mind wants to hold on to it. Why do our minds create so much drama? Why do we allow ourselves to know the truth and stay in contempt. Yeah, I’m miserable, but I’m not going to talk to anyone and make it into and melodrama revolving around me. Our fallen nature is selfish and petty. Once we turn our face away from ourselves then we see our neighbor, who may be also falling on their face in effort to live. Life stinks and we have each other to lift us up and edify our spirits.

I’m falling asleep as I type this, so I’m gonna hit the hay! Night, and next time I write I’ll no longer be fasting…the suspense should be killing you.

P.S. I’ve been running out of adjectives for God’s table and I’m glad it’s coming to an end.

The Daniel Fast (Day 19)

•February 1, 2014 • Leave a Comment

Day Nineteen: God’s Perceptive Table.

I know it’s technically day twenty right now, but I’m just now getting a chance to write.

Not unlike the Indonesian story that Pastor Clark describes in the devotional; God did a 180 to me, as He usually does. They expected a church to be built and I expected much more for myself. I have been dealing with some depression, and I really believe it stems from my expectation and hope in people failing more often than not. I move on after a few days, but I work myself up. Though it isn’t unusual for myself to obsess over everything. I went for a walk to distract myself from my constant berating thoughts, but when I got to Schimmel’s the swingset was taken to I turned around to walk aimlessly around campus. I had a Pocahontas “which path do I take moment” and it was beautiful. Let’s just say I didn’t choose the smoothest course, metaphorically. I talked to a few friends, but found myself sitting alone in the PCSU on the verge of tears. Before I took this walk (or any others that have happened over my Lee career) I knew I had expectations from God to send something to change my day and mindset. Usually it’s small things that I see and move on, but this time He sent two friends, the last friends on earth I would expect to show up. The team in Indonesia didn’t expect a dinner with the people to produce better strategy for the building, but God does what He wants.

It’s slightly embarrassing to be sitting alone in the PCSU, especially when people that day kept asking if you were ok when you aren’t quite sure how to respond. They came up to me and started talking, and eventually one of them asked if I would let them pray for anything, and you know, I just really appreciated this. God didn’t have to send them, and there have been times when He’s done nothing. But I really needed this. They prayed with me and I felt special, like God wanted to talk to me again in forms other than my mind. I have never doubted God’s presence so I don’t worry over those matters, but I do miss His manifestations of His love for me.

God gave her the words Purity, Destiny, Life, and Purpose. Sometimes I feel as though my efforts and caring get passed over, but I was reminded of the times that it doesn’t, that people do fell peace when around me. All I want is for people to be changed by God’s glory shut up in my bones. She also felt led to tell me that I have harvested my talents well. There is no better feeling than hearing that God of proud of you. To know even when you feel like crap He is making something of you.

I just want to encourage my readers that if God hasn’t shown Himself to you recently, hold on. He will show up. Right when you need it. (This is getting almost to cheesy for me, but it’s real life.) I had been in the best of moods all week, the minute I’m depressed and sullen, He sends to agents of faith. I appreciate people stepping out in boldness. I should do it more.

The Daniel Fast (Day 18)

•January 31, 2014 • Leave a Comment

Day Eighteen: God’s Joyous Table.

Today I had a remarkably happy day. I had a smoothie for breakfast and helped take the census of homeless people in our community. I met this one couple that was exceptionally wonderful. They talked about the snow and where they were from and assisted us in locating more so that the city would have an accurate count and get proper funding. Sometimes I’m confident and will start the conversation and other times I am a hotmess and need others to start it. As much as I love people they make me nervous, go figure. When I do get to experience them it’s like beautiful. God’s creatures are unique and interesting. I guess it’s my anthropologist coming out. I love walking places and experiencing adventures in the simplest forms. Everything comes alive in my head and I wouldn’t trade it for anything.

In the devotional the story where Peter sees Jesus and he immediately throws himself out of the boat and runs to him, abandoning everything else. I love this. It’s raw. I want reckless abandon in my love of Christ. A part of myself can be related to Elsa from Frozen: Conceal. Don’t feel. Don’t let them see. Put on a show.

As much as I “don’t care” what people think, I do. I want to be the best. (to catch them all is my test.) Anyway… Once I came to college I was able to open up and become bolder and learn that it’s okay to make mistakes and put yourself out there. If no one does then how are lives supposed to be saved. I still have much to grow in, but I see myself opening up and allowing people to get close. I’ve spent so much of my life trying not to trust in people that let me down. I have probably mentioned this in my blogging recently, but I’m trusting to a fault. I place expectations on others that they don’t meet. I now see this for what it is and don’t hold it against them.

I really love Lee and everything that it has done for me. Cleveland, TN has changed my life for the better. I have opportunities that are one of a kind and I am pushing myself to grow deeper. Parts of my life that I thought were the most important have faded into the background and no longer keep me restricted in my own world of self-doubt. My God calls me whole!!

He is king and Lord of all. He has changed me from the inside out. There are a lot of things I would be without His strong arm holding me up and His kind eyes holding my gaze. Those eyes filled with love and grace. He is the only perfect thing in this world.

My reality is Him…Jesus

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The Daniel Fast (Day 17)

•January 30, 2014 • Leave a Comment

Day Seventeen: God’s Open Table.

I would like to apologize as a blogger to my readers. I am dealing with my own pride and offenses, and took them out on you. Those were some things that I had been reflecting on and working toward a goal to solidify my own beliefs. Sometimes I don’t like me, and God is taking on a journey and you happened to come alongside me in a rocky moment. I needed a hand and it was there.

As I reflected today God really showed me how passionate and happy I am about life. I like that about me. There are many things I don’t, but this, I do. I love knowing that people are filled with the joy that is inside of me. It’s apart of my light spreading into those who need it.

I’m just really really passionate!! Everything about me gets excited about love, life, adventure, and pretty much everything. I love God and Jesus. Their love has sustained me through life and its crap. Whenever I start to doubt myself, yes I talk to my human companions, but I run to God and allow Him to be with me. Sometimes I don’t hear His voice, but I know He loves me. And a God that saved me from the crappy person that I am is a keeper. Through Him I strive to be better, through Him I achieve joy. This joy will last through pain, doubt, fear, isolation. It seems ludicrous, but it’s true. God’s love is bigger than my confused and wondering mind.

Fun Fact:  I give fun facts about myself that are embarrassing so that people feel relatable and more at ease. Hopefully, the more embarrassing I am the better other people feel about themselves.

Maybe this makes me a good leader, or just a weirdo telling people their awkward moments no one cares about. Either way I use quirkiness to my advantage. I do worry that it doesn’t work, but oh well.

I don’t like people to feel alone and  really try to make an effort that no one does. Loneliness is the worst, and I would never ask anyone to endure it. If you are feeling alone; I’ll be your friend. (And so will Jesus, give Him 15 minutes of quiet time and He’ll show you.)

Love you guys!

 

The Daniel Fast (Day 16)

•January 29, 2014 • 1 Comment

Day Sixteen: God’s Safe Table.

My family really didn’t sit around a table unless it was a special occasion, even Thanksgiving we’d gather around the tv. it’s just what we do. You can say your statistics about families that don’t eat together, but mine’s doing just fine. We sit in the living room, interrupt the movie and say what we want. No, we don’t sit at a table for a formal meal, but we have fellowship. This whole argument is based on worldview and family life. Mine didn’t need a table to get across our communication, yours may. Do not condemn a family for watching tv while they eat to have kids that are “more likely” to do drugs. I honestly talk less at the dining room table, and feel pressure to make small talk that is meaningless. This is just what developed in me from my family situation and how I grew up. Others may be the opposite, there might even be a third option that works best for a family. Communication happens in different ways for different people, and parents need to focus more on their kids patterns rather than forcing them to talk at dinner. 

I don’t liked to be forced to do anything really. I hated be told to be nice to my sister. Where’s the reward for me if I’m being nice for you and not because I genuinely want to. So, naturally, I did what I wanted. I’m not and wasn’t a bad kid, i’m independent and want you to be proud of my choice to do good, not my mindless obedience. To some this may seem disrespectful. I respect them, but I guess because I don’t show it in the average way I’m rude. I don’t want to be controlled by others expectations of me. I want them to trust that I am good and that I will do it because of that reason. 

We all have a worldview that develops because of our conditions of life. We come together attempting to force our personal view onto others and get angry when they don’t see the same shade of blue. We’re different and that’s what makes us interesting, that’s what makes us grow. We grow as humans, as Christians, as children, and as parents. Listen and observe, learn how your child, friend, or parent interacts and begin to respect them by attempting to enter into their worldview. I, bu no means, am saying completely give up your own sense of peace to be forced to make them happy. But act in servant hood towards them, and if the situation leads to stress, communicate. Tell them, it is your right to be happy as well as theirs. 

Communication is the only way to peace. Communicate with God, with your siblings, with your parents, and with yourself.